It is the tenth day of Christmas and I am
running out of hope. I mean topics; I am really struggling to find something
today.
I can’t really run out of hope because I do
not have hope for many things…
Well I hope I don’t panic tonight when I
fly back to Stockholm – so much wind…
And that will be all for today. Since I lack inspiration, I will let it be, and hope for a better result for tomorrow. It feels like cheating, even if Daniel says that it is about taking care of myself. So I better do that.
I was struggling with finding a topic for
today and asked Daniel again.
I found the suggestions that he came with
somewhat silly, like “what does hope taste like or sound like?”
And then I started thinking. Does hope have
a sound?
No it doesn’t; it has many sounds.
The sound of the phone ringing when you are
expecting a phone call from a loved one, and hoping it is them calling. The sound of the ring tone, when you are
calling and hoping the one in the other end will pick up – or maybe not pick up
if you are scared of the call. The sound of a slot machine, when you are hoping
for the big win. The sound of a key in the door; of footsteps, laughter… They
can all be sounds of hope.
Today’s title came up a few days ago, when
my friend Daniel was helping me figure out what to write about. His help was an
association exercise.
Daniel: “Ok hope is green, what do you think about when I say green?”
Me: “Yoda”
Daniel: “What does Yoda have to do with hope?”
Me: “A new hope”
Daniel: “And what was the learning of the movie?”
Me: “Damn it, I can’t remember; I am a bad geek”
And so I did not use it, but the title
seemed perfect for today. We have started a new year, and with a new year come
new hope. Many people use this time as a way to start over or to start or stop
something: the all-famous New Year’s resolutions.
Most resolutions fail like in this great cartoon by Lunarbaboon; maybe because we set way too ambitious goals? Maybe because we have “should” goals instead of “what” goals? Maybe because we do not plan them?
I am not sure, and most likely it differs
from person to person.
I think the goal being to big and us wanting to achieve it too fast plays a big part, so maybe we should stop making goals and make visions instead? And then do the smallest step that will take us in that direction? At least it is worth a shot 🙂
Seventh day of Christmas and the last day
of the year 🙂
While slowly getting ready to dress up and
celebrate the transition to next year, I will write the last post of this year.
Today’s topic is suggested by Karina, who
is the big sister of my oldest friend, and my chosen family 🙂
Interesting enough it reminded me of the great keynote by Stephan Kämper about luck – and helping luck along 🙂
You can always hope for something, but
hoping is not always enough to make things happen. Hope can be helped along by actions – big or
small.
As I wrote about yesterday, we have been
helping hope along throughout the ages by sacrificing so that the gods would
grant us our wishes – in whatever forms those gods or deities were.
The hopes we have today are mostly not
about the same things – though in some cases they are. Farmers hope for good
weather and great crops; potential parents hope for fertility so they can have
the children, they long for. And they help the hopes along. The farmers
fertilize the crops, water them, weed, cut of branches of trees so the rest can
grow even better fruits, look at weather forecasts etc etc. The potential
parents may measure ovulation cycles, if they struggle to get pregnant, or they
might get help from our medical systems (which in my part of the world to some
extend is free).
We also have different hopes today: maybe
we hope to find a new job, to win the lottery, to lose weight, to make that
discovery in science that will make us famous, that the earth will become a
better place.
All those hopes are great, and they will
not happen unless we do something. We will never win the lottery if we don’t
buy a ticket; we will not make a discovery unless we put in work; we will not
make the world a better place unless we do something about it.
What does it take to make the world a
better place?
Well that depends on your definition of a
better place; just remember that it is okay to do small things as well 🙂
Recycling can help the environment, smiling
at someone can help a lonely person, giving a lift can make someone’s life
easier, knitting socks can help homeless people… There are plenty of options to
make the world a better place if we take the actions.
Remember:
If we all do things that matter little to us and a lot to someone else, we can make the world a better place
Me at age 9
Happy new year to you and all your loved ones. Let us help our hopes along so they may come true.
Sixth day of Christmas – and today it was
hard to find a topic; I have been surprised about how easy it was the other
days.
After some contemplation I realised that I had been reading about hope many times today. I went to Moesgaard Museum today with two 18-year olds; it is a marvellous museum that has great exhibitions – not only do they have the items of the past, they also tell stories that make the things come alive. If you are ever in Århus, I recommend going.
First we went to the special exhibition on
Pompeji and Herculaneum that were destroyed by the eruption of Vesuvio in AD79,
and hope was everywhere. Hopes that were about the disaster: The hope of
escape, the ship that was sent out in hope of being able to save the people,
the hope of protection your kids. All hopes that were not fulfilled as people
died on the spot from burns, toxic gases, or ashes… And there was the hope of
the daily lives: the baker’s hope of becoming a mayor in the city, or the hope
of fertility of the land and the loins, which was helped along by having
phallus around the house… Something you would not see today 🙂
As we moved through the exhibitions of the
first humans in Denmark, of the first farmers, Vikings, bog man from the Iron
Age, there were elements of hope everywhere. There were tales of sacrifices in
the hope of better future, better crops, better health, better luck in war;
sacrifices of food, people, dogs, pots, necklaces, weapons… the list goes on
and on… Did it work? We will never know; all we know is that people in many ages
throughout history made sacrifices to gain hope…
I wonder if we do that today. And if we do,
what do we sacrifice? Time with loved ones in hope of a better career? Time in
hope of money? Career? A better lifestyle?
What do you sacrifice? And is it worth the
hope you gain?
Fifth day of Christmas and still going
strong. Well maybe not strong, but at least I am sticking to producing a blog
post about hope every day. So far is has worked out that I got inspiration
somehow during the day. And though the posts may not be profound, I still hope
that they will cause some reflection and contemplation.
Today it will be about removing hope.
The inspiration came as I was going through my expenses. For several years I have supported a bunch of charities with money every month no matter what my financial situation was. I have come to realise that I will not be able to help everyone and that some of the charities are closer to my heart than others.
But it pains me. I know that some of the
charities are really struggling and they need the support. And as I was looking
for email addresses to tell the organisations that I will no longer support
them, I look at the messages saying how supporting them creates hope for
people. Which makes me feel like I am now removing hope, and that gives me a
knot in the stomach. I am removing hope from bullied kids, sick kids, people in
need.
That sucks. I also know that I have helped
them over the years and that I can use the money to help in other places. I
gave up supporting hospital clowns, Folkekirkens nødhjælp, and julemærkehjem.
All really great causes – as many charities are.
I kept two charities:
“Verdens skove” (World’s forests) that helps protect and grow forests and vegetation in Denmark and abroad. Originally they helped only in the rain forest, but now they also help locally.
And TUBA – terapi til unge og børn af alkoholikere (Therapy for young and children of alcoholics); this therapy is not covered by the state and I know from experience how much that is needed, so this is personal to me.
I have the same problem, when it comes to helping people: I find it extremely hard to say no to people, if I know that I can help them, that I can make them feel better about themselves, that I can listen, that I can give them hope. And yet I must learn to say no to some.
I can’t help everyone, so all I can do is hope someone else will help where I cannot.
Fourth day of Christmas and it is not
getting easier to find topics 🙂
As I was packing one of my suitcases, my friend came by and said: “I think you should write about hoping to have room for things”, so I will give that a shot.
She was off course saying this, because I
was trying to fit in my new dinosaur, other Christmas gifts and some kitchen
stuff from my storage in Denmark. And yes I was hoping that it would all fit.
Just as I am hoping that I can make all my things fit in my apartment in
Stockholm. It is fairly small and I have a bunch of stuff despite getting rid
of a lot the last few years.
It also got me thinking: do we leave room
for hope in our lives?
As I wrote the other day, I am not very
good at having hopes for myself; I am so much better at helping others finding
new hope. So I am not good at leaving room for it.
But what about other people? Do they leave
room for hope in their lives? Or do they just go on their way? Do what they are
supposed to do? Get caught up in the daily life?
Today I have been contemplating about
sharing hope.
I had a conversation with an 18-year old
boy, who is struggling with not feeling good enough always, feeling like he is
the one doing everything wrong, and trying not to be in the way. In short many
of the things I have been struggling with when I was younger… And sometimes still
struggle with.
So I told parts of my story; how my mom could make me feel like the worst person even when I logically knew that I was not the one at fault. I talked about how I felt relieved when my mom died. Despite not having seen her the last six years of her life, I felt like a burden was lifted from my shoulders; I never had to be afraid of her again.
I almost lost my sister then; because
unlike me she felt huge sorrow and our different reactions almost drove us
apart. I am glad that it didn’t.
“So what does this have to do with sharing
hope?”, you might think.
I am glad you asked 🙂
By sharing my stories, how I suffered, how
I evolved, and where I am now, I gave this young man hope. Hope that one day he
can feel differently; that one day he can be the success that he sees me as.
So share your stories; you never know who
needs to hear it.
Second day of Christmas means second day of
my hope blogging challenge.
As I wrote yesterday, I am doing this as a
challenge together with a guy from New Zealand. This also means that he posts
ahead of me every day.
Today in my morning (his evening) we talked
about how it is nice that we have this common challenge, because otherwise we
would not get it done. Then Ed wrote “I am giving myself
permission to do it mainly for me” – and I realised that I am doing this mainly
for other.
I took up the challenge because I wanted to induce hope to
others and that has worried me. So I put a lot of pressure on me to make it
good enough. Will I be able to help people find hope with what I write? Will it
be good enough? Will it make a difference for anyone?
Besides that I put a lot of pressure on
myself, it is also a typical thing for me to do: helping others before thinking
about myself, so it got me thinking.
Once again it made me aware that I am much better at caring for others than for myself. I still do not have any solutions for what to do, but I do know that I need to start creating hope for me and not only for others.
I suggested gratitude, and Ed Strafford from New Zealand suggested hope. I really liked having positive themes and found that those could be inspirational, which I find lacking in the world.
Somehow it ended up with a mutual challenge for Ed and I: We will each make blog posts on hope for the 12 days of Christmas.
The modern world is magical: two people,
who never met, from opposites of the world – almost as far apart as you can
get, who did not even know of each other 11 days ago, will go on a common
mission: spreading hope into the world for 12 days.
On to the first post:
Yesterday was Christmas evening, which is
the time, where we get presents in Denmark. I was celebrating with my extra
family – my chosen family – Elisabeth and I met in “gymnasium” in 1987 and have
been friends ever since. Now we are as close as sisters and her kids are my
kids as well.
Her and her family have supported me as I
have grown from being afraid to stand outside the norm to being my whole self
with all that is. I think they have not just supported me; they have enabled me
to grow.
The whole family: husband and kids,
parents, siblings, and all.
A really good example of the acceptance and
care is the gift that I got from my boy and his girlfriend: a big fluffy dinosaur
in perfect colour 🙂
Niels remarked that I looked like a
seven-year-old girl sitting on the floor unwrapping my plush toy – and that is
how I felt as well.
If I can go from using all my energy to fit
in to a person that will appreciate a plush dinosaur gift, then there is hope.
We can change, we can embrace who we are, we can be all of ourselves.
